I just got a phone call from my sister-in-law Linda Crumley, and my nephew Joel McLin is missing after a hike in the Mt. Washington area, Washington State.  He is expert hiker, just completed his first year of college at Wheaton College.  He has been through ROTC survival training.  Don &  Ralph searched for him all night, and now Helicopters and many people are searching.

It is on the news in the Seattle area, and all we can do right now is pray for his safe return.

Thanks for your prayers, for his Mom & Dad and family also.

Janice

A few hours later on May 14, 2003

I'll send official report later when I have more information, but they found his body this afternoon, he fell 900'  as the trail or rocks may have given way and he had no chance.  Thanks for your prayers.

Robert

How is Jerry doing, we have been praying for him as well God is good and he hears our prayers. take care and keep in touch 

God bless 
L/P

Barbara

Barbara, He is in my prayers.  Let me know when they find him safe and sound.

Bill

Sure hope it all works out well for you all.

bill.

WE are winding down here and hope to be home in maybe two weeks

Just hope this isn't another tragedy. Keep us informed.

Uncle Ardis

We have lost several skiers and climbers this year that I don't understand why they don't ban going into the mountains at certain times.   The reason for most of these men getting lost has been due to the snow being too wet this year, and so we've had too many  (I am in a complete blank right now as to what I want to say) snow slides?  No... but I think you know what I mean.

I have a young friend who lost her husband on Mt. Hood in 1980 when I first arrived here in Moscow.  She took it very badly, but I was able to help her because that was the same time that I had my worse breakdown.  She went to the church Evangelistic meetings with me...didn't miss a one, and loved them all.  She got the entire SDA message, but she never joined the church.  Maybe someday she will come looking for me.

Let me know if your nephew has been found.

Love,
Carmen

I'll send official report later when I have more information, but they found his body this afternoon, he fell 900'  as the trail or rocks may have given way and he had no chance.  Thanks for your prayers.

It is a very sad day indeed.

God has given me a long life and I praise Him each and every day for it. Any way I looked and never found MT. WA. on our maps. Yes, doing what he loved most to do, be with God and nature. What a nice way to put it. Must close.

Love you all, Uncle Ardis & Ila

We have a very special request for you to pray for Katherine and Ralph McLin, (Ron's cousin). They recently lost their youngest son Joel in a mountain climbing accident. He fell over 900 ft. from a peak in the Olympic National Forest in Washington. Joel was on a scholarship at Wheaton Chistian College for his musical talents. He was a gifted singer and musician. He was also a member of the ROTC and served active duty this winter during the Iraqui War. This is devastating to us all. Please keep them in your prayers that their hearts may be comforted by God as they prepare for his funeral and memorial service. Most of the family will be traveling to Shelton, WA for the services.

Thank you. 

"God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matt. 5:4

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, he rescues those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

Blessings,

Carol 

 "They say" it was more than likely got caught in spring snow avalance on a good trail. He was not doing anything wrong, something gave way and they figure he hit his head.  As when they found the body his arms were over head, experts say this is indicative to being "unconscious" already.  Janice sent this:  I'll send official report later when I have more information, but they found his body this afternoon, he fell 900'  as the trail or rocks may have given way and he had no chance.  Thanks for your prayers.

I & Zeus will be driving to pick up Alec from school and heading north to pick my eldest sister Janice in CALIF.  To then make the 12 hr drive to Shelton, WA. today. We'll fly Christopher up for funeral this weekend. Shelton is 2hrs SW of Seattle WA.

It was a freak death. And this is my Sister Kathern & Ralph McLin's youngest and most dear to mommy special child. 
Lady Laurice

The sad message made me cry.  Why did it happen to dear Joel?  As I recall he was a kind and handsome young man. 

Katherine and Ralph:  my family and I send to you our deepest sympathy in this time of sorrow.  Please let me know if there is any thing we can do for you.

Sam, Larry, Kathleen, and Andy 

I just sent a note off to Laurice expressing my heartbreak from this tragedy.  Since you will periodically check your mail if and when you have time, I thought I'd dash a note off to you as well.  If you think of it, could you express my heartfelt condolences to everyone?  I care so deeply for you all and although I haven't been around most of you for a long time, I do think about everyone.  I wish I could be there and hug everyone but since I can't I will include you all in prayer.

Be safe and update me when you can.

Love,

Janet 

Love,

Barbara

Joel McLin, 5/03:
 

This is the news as reported by good friend, David Burch on May 15, 2003:

I wish this was happy news, but unfortunately it is not. For those of you who have not yet heard, Joel McLin has recently fallen to his death in a hiking accident on Mt. Washington near his home in Shelton, WA. He had just returned home from school at Wheaton College, and no doubt couldn't wait to get back to the mountains of the Pacific Northwest that he loved so much. Joel was like a brother to Andy Kim and I, and I am still coping with the sudden grief, as I know Andy is. In this time of tragedy, all we can do is offer our prayers and words of encouragement for his family. I'm sure most of you have received the e-mail Andy sent out, but if you haven't and would like to contact the McLin's to offer your support they can be reached here:

Ralph and Kathryn McLin
 

For those of you who knew Joel, you know that he was always happy, usually without a care in the world. He was a free spirit in the truest sense. Just having him around was enough to brighten anybody's day. He will be missed by not only his family and friends, but by everybody who has had the good fortune of meeting him. He will live on in our memories and our love, for those who knew him can never forget what an amazing person he was.

Goodbye, Joel. We will never forget you. 
 
 

The SOA family grieves for this terrible and sudden loss of such an outstanding tour member and friend to many. Most of us will remember Joel for his big smile and positive attitude, not to mention his participation in the yodeling ensemble during the bus song presentations. Joel will stay alive in our hearts forever.

Joel's last message to SOA was as follows: "Currently a junior going after a degree in Kinesiology and Music at Wheaton College near Chicago. Still a regular yodeler up in the thin mountain air, but the knickerbockers had to go. My warmest go out to all the SOA'ers!" Joel.C.McLin@Wheaton.edu

thanks for the update. Just wish it were a happier occasion. He was such a wonderful, young, positive man! I only met him twice, but I loved him as a brother in Christ from the first minute on. He even came to visit us in Napa before he went on his long survival trip.

Waiting to hear more from you when you are back.

Love,
Denise

Barbara 

I'm sorry to report the death of my nephew, Joel Cedric McLin, son of Kathryn Crumley McLin and Ralph McLin of Shelton, Washington. Joel was 22 years old, and died in mountain climbing accident. Joel was an experienced climber, who had just come home from Wheaton College in Ill. to spend time with his family before starting his ROTC summer advance training camp. The sun came out on Tuesday morning and his favorite mountains in the Olympic Range called to him, a 3-4 hour hike which he's done many times never ended. His father and uncle(Don Crumley) hike with flashlight to the 5500' level looking for him, but it was late on Wednesday afternoon that the helo[copter]
stopped him down 400' down the backside of the mountain, at some point after the snow went out from under him, he hit his head on rocks on the cliff face and then slid about 400'after his was dead.

The funeral will be Tuesday morning at Westside Baptist Church on Mudbay Road in Olympia, Washington. Thursday mornings Shelton "The Journal" had a wonderful write up, we also have been told the the Olympia paper"The Olympian" had a nice write up, as he grow up preforming on his violn. I'm sorry I don't know the websites. The McLin family is very well know muscial family here in the Olympic Penn.

Tricia

[Note I heard on radio that it ws 900' and later some said 400' fall.]

Domingo

Give our best to Kathryn and Ralph.

Merrilee

We just returned from the saddest funeral I have ever experienced. The great loss of a bright and shining star Joel McLin----a gifted young man who lived each day to the fullest with so few years of life. Our comfort and hope is in Jesus for Joel loved God with all his heart and soul. We heard wonderful stories and testimonies of his life. We also were blessed with his music and pictures of his life. The memorial service lasted several hours ans there were so many who had something unique to share about Joel. The trip was long but safe and we bonded together in our sorrow.

Now I must write so soon with another tragic prayer request for my own younger brother, Gene Fawcett. He fell from a ladder this week while doing house repairs and he is now paralyzed from the waist down with a severed spinal cord/broken back. He does not know yet but still hopes and requests prayers. His surgery and recovery has been as good as can be expected. He has a wife and two children. Oh, so many heartbreaks and wounds in this old world we call our "temporary" home.

I long for the day Jesus comes to take us home to be with Him. I pray we will all be united in Christ for all eternity. We are sustained and strengthen by His WORD and we must trust in His promises.

Thank you. Every prayer counts and we are grateful for your great demonstration of love as we pray for one another. I promise to pray for each of you as I click and send.

Love always,
Carol 

"Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence." Jeremiah 17:7

I sought my Lord and he heard my cry.

Love you all.  Tricia
---------
Charles Plumb was a U. S. Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience! One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, when a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!" 

"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb. 

"I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked !" Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today." 

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says, "I kept wondering what he had looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat; a bib in the back; and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said 'Good morning, how are you?' or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor." Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent at a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know. 

Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?" Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. He also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory - he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety. 

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason. As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize people who pack your parachutes. 

I am sending you this as my way of thanking you for your part in packing my parachute. Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word. Maybe this could explain it: when you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do --- you forward jokes. And to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get? A forwarded joke. So my friend, next time when you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile, just helping you pack your parachute.

The commadant or col. that spoke for the Army speach was short and stunning. He looked at Kathryn & Ralph and said: on the behalf of the United States of America....it was stunning. I'll get the video copy in july. It was a singing class mates family with professional cameras that did it - so should be very good. Even non christians can be inspired by his life. Only one preacher forgot it wasn't about "his" pulput dogma's--but some enjoyed even that.

Alec & I are at Sharon & Bill Ingersons in Lakewood, WA. Christopehr flies in on Friday...we'll visit his friend Karl...then off to Yakama to visit friends then drive home sun/mon as is a 3 day week end.  I'm so grateful to have my Hunky with me soon and that we'll be driving home together. Our new Chevy Tahoe has be a gift to travel in. It has been broken in by the cat & muddy shoes - but cleaned up well :-). The kitten we aquired from Janice has recieved his name from Alec,Neo as the hero in Matrix is Neo. Darling example of a little miracle. the tiny paws and he is just in that 5 week playful stage - and has seen his tail as a gadget a couple of times. Zeus has accepted him too. 
Love to you all. Dont waste a DAY on people who make life hard. Life is a GIFT. ANd every breath its reminder to inhale the gift - not just survive.
My life will be inspired by jOels joy to the end of my days. 
BLessings and love.
Laurice-ALec - Zeus & Neo

Wishing you a great and blessed weekend.

Love,
Denise 

Dear Friends and  Prayer Partners, 

Even if you are not on the regular mailing list of our prayer chain, I hope you won't mind if I share this letter that I received about the young daughter of a missionay family. It's  one we shared last week about Grady and Claire Milstead, missionaries to the Patagonia of southern Argentina and their 12-year-old daughter Aimee that  had a seizure at school in Trelew and died. There is a message in here that we all can learn from and be blessed with...  I know it's a bit long but I pray you can and will take the time to read it and  I also  pray you will be blessed with it's message and please continue to remember this family and all our missionaries in prayer. 

love In Christ, 

Ruth 

-----Original Message----- From: Betty Coffey Sent: Friday, May 23, 2003 2:44 AM Subject:Fw: Aimee Milstead-Why or What For 

Dear Praying Friends: 

In times of crisis more than any other times, we see just how real the term family is for missionaries on the field. Those of us who know the Milstead family have shared some of the pain at Aimee's death, as we would for a family member of blood relationship. Those who have never met them will still feel a kinship and a sense of empathy for their loss, even if we cannot fully identify with them since most of us have not had to face a similar circumstance. Still, our common experiences as missionary family units on the field takes us to a completely different level of sharing the shock and pain than we might if we had never served overseas. 

Those of us who have children are even more sympathetic when we try to understand how we might feel if one of our own should go before us. The natural order to which we are accustomed  and conditioned tells us that it just is not right for parents (or grandparents) to survive their children 
(or grandchildren). We can never be prepared for the death of a loved one, even if we have been expecting an elderly person to die from a long-term illness. But when one of our children is suddenly taken before us, it is natural for us to have HUGE unanswered questions and to feel all the stages of grief at super magnified levels. Shock, anger, denial, depression, fear . . .  I suppose just about every emotion comes into play. 

I have shared before with many of you a lesson that I continue to learn, having begun this particular leg of the long journey several years ago when a close, young friend and disciple died suddenly and (for me at least) totally unexpectedly. I struggled with the question, "Why?"  The doctors tried to give us medical reasons, but I found myself sounding like a three-year-old when, with every medical answer, I asked another, "Why?" The cause-and-effect answers of "because . . . " to every "why?" simply did not satisfy. 

Surprisingly, my study of Spanish helped me begin to get some answers that satisfied at least some of my emptiness. It was the difference between "¿Por qué?" (Why?) and "¿Para qué?" (What for?). Some folks would say, the two questions are just he same, but not so. "Why?" only asks "What caused this?" or "Who is to blame?" The answer to "why?" is always "because . . 
.
" which looks for cause and effect or assigns blame for an action. When the disciples asked Jesus, "Who sinned, this man or his parents? (John 
9), they demonstrated their desire to find someone to blame for the blind man's suffering. Blame and punishment are a poor substitute for justice. Even justice does not leave one feeling satisfied. And this lack of satisfaction can lead to bitterness, a desire for vengeance, or hopelessness and depression. 

On the other hand, the answer to the question "What for?" is always "so that . . . "  which opens the door to hope. Jesus explained that the blind man had been given his infirmity so that God could be glorified. 

Everything we are given in this life is only loaned to us from God for a little while. When we finally pass into eternity, we will see this part of life as just a miniscule moment in comparison to that timelessness. However, the way that we use what God has loaned to us can have eternal consequences. 

If we allow our circumstances to overcome us, then we will have given testimony to our heart-belief that God is not great enough to overcome every evil. But if we allow God to work in us and through us IN SPITE OF our circumstances, then perhaps we will have the opportunity to see and share in just a glimpse of his glory as he demonstrates his power to turn even the most evil of actions into glorious results for those who love him and are called according to his purposes. That's what he did with the cross. And it's what he has been doing in the lives of his followers ever since then.

None of this makes the pain of the separation any easier. It is still painful to give up such a young and innocent child as Aimee. But instead of praying for an explanation why this had to happen, I find myself praying "OK, God. So how are you going to receive glory in THIS?" Perhaps it will be in a testimony from someone who sees the community of believers ministering to each other and says, "I need that kind of love" . . . Or perhaps from one who says, "I don't have the same assurance that I will see a loved one in eternity. I need that kind of faith" . . . Or from one who says, "I could never get through such an unthinkably horrible circumstance, I need that kind of grace and power and comfort." 

I do not know HOW God can receive glory from this.  I only know that I pray that he WILL, and that I will be able to see at least a little of that resulting glory to know that this really was not in vain. I find that I can take just a little comfort in the hope that someday in eternity, I will be so consumed with the result of his glory that I will no longer even feel the need or the desire to know why, for then I will understand all of the "what for?" 

Bruce Muskrat wrote: "The physician that had attended Aimee . . .  at the Trelew hospital stopped by the house (that) night about 11:30 p.m. to express his concern for the Milsteads. In spite of the exhaustion of Grady, Claire, and Jacob having had over 100 visitors throughout the day, they were able to share their testimony with him. Another doctor (who had previously treated Grady for an eye injury) who had been by during the day with his ENTIRE family, commented that he had seen characteristics of Christianity in the Milstead family that he had never experienced before." 

Thank you for praying for the Milstead family as we celebrate Aimee's twelve years of life at the memorial service in Pensacola today. 

Peace, Grace, Love and Endurance to you all, 

Larry 

Larry N. Gay Regional Leader for Western South America International Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention www.imb.org/WSAmerica <http://www.imb.org/WSAmerica>

Just wanted to say HELLO and thank you for being my wonderful family-it has been difficult to put feelings into words yet.  Everyone filled in when needed with whatever support was needed at the time...lots of cleaning, lots of hugs, playing with children, heart wrenching phone calls.  It's the first time we didn't do a "group" picture, and I think that says something about the selfless caring that was going on.  It also made me evaluate "being ready"... a neat and orderly life is needed (full gas tanks, extra batteries, stash of cash) so we have the ability to drop everything and go when crisis needs arise.  I think the Bible is full of parables for us to learn from.  I know I have been reevaluating my lifestyle.  Thank you all for the offer of beds, meals and show of generosity.   Joel has taught us to live life FULLY and shamelessly.
    I love you all.  Sue

I can't imagine what the days ahead will be like for Kathryn, Ralph, Matthew and Jennifer, my heart cries for you all.  Kathryn, thank you for sharing Joel's many happenings with us, these past few years, I've saved them all. Your wonderful words about your son's life, were so beautiful, I'm crying as I bring the memories of the past few days foreword in my thoughts. 

We had many times of laughter with the children, that we'll share later, and such tender moments as the little ones came to understand the Joel was home with Jesus. How much I love you all, I've got to go, this is to hard right now. 

love, Tricia 
On the trail of my ancestors.

Thank you for answering!  Please accept my deep sympathy in this loss and convey it to Joel's parents for us.  I had friends  in Korea who were praying also and I forwarded your message to them.  I lost my first husband when our children were small and I know how devastated they are.  God bless,   Arlene

Hi Janice:

I love this story. Have read it a few times, yet, each time it puts tears in my eyes again.

Hope the trip and everything up north went well during the tough times. I hope that Ralph and Kathryn can go on with their lives, remembering Joel as the joyous, happy young man he was. We all miss him, but I am sure that all of us who knew him will remember him in all the good memories that were built with him.

Wishing you a great day. Thanks again for this wonderful mail.

Love,
Denise 

Dear Uncle Ardis,

I am so grateful that your accident was not a final one. As we never know when our 'time is up'. I am so glad we'll have you around for another day to remind us of our parents stories and the great and grand journey you have lived.

As I drove the 14 hours from Reno, NV. picking up my eldest sister I found myself dealing with the grief step of anger and the total numbness of the surreal news. That my nephew, Joels life was gone at age 22 years young. During doing what he loved yes. But that still did not feel enough. Upon arrival I discovered other family members were getting Back into their cars to drive another 7 hours to eastern WA. to pack and move Matthew & Jennifer, Joels brother  wife.  As they had to start a new job in Portland Ore. the next week! Aunties & Uncles agreed that Matt needed to be with family and his parents. So my crazy unique family, of whom others have judged...put ACTIONS of LOVE and Christian values into play. They went the extra mile and gave and gave....from their own exausted states of shock to do WHAT NEEDED TO BE DONE.  I was so proud of them!!  And grateful they let me stay instead!!

I got to help at the house one day, then I moved into how I could serve the CHILDREN. As two sets of parents were in the moving crew. So Aunt-Grandma Tricia & I had some laughs and moments of joy caretaking the children while everyone else scrurried to get things finalized and done. At one point there was 10 children in tow and each of them a joy.  It made me feel so good to be an "auntie". To share "tools" of how to precieve this "death" from and to ease the fears.  Maybe it helped them, but I know they helped me even more!! We went to the movies, Travis got more aquainted with the kitty MORE than he wanted. He gifted us all great big gut-giggles and bonding! Then we visited the Newest McLin!! Steward McLin, the two week old son of Matt & Jennifer.

We walked on the Puget Sound waterfrount and found tiny tiny crabs and got squirted by Gooey ducks; a unique Northwest clam. Later we got caught in a thunderous down pour which got all our blood flowing as we raced to the truck!  So in the sorrow we were gifted with moments of laughters-relief and cosmic humor.

At Joels-dedication ie. funeral, I found his Spirit set me free. I felt some acceptance, as I saw how his short life had already touched so many.  As each person shared the dedication to represent his loss, but to represent the gift Joel's life had offered them. I loved how his casket even shared a special interpretation. How each peice was difinativly chosen and represented the amazing craftmanship, dedication and character of the McLin family.

I loved how his different Wheaton College roomate's shared their truths. And I felt the truth set me free with humor and heartfelt honesty. One shared that not everyone on campus understood the happy go-lucky joel, and what it was like to wake up to his "lets go CHURCH'n" or go for a hike vibrancy.  His ROTC buddies gifted me with this "hot tub ritual" and so much more. I was so proud of these awesomely articulate and beautiful young men too! I felt such pride for them and those who did not speak but loved Joel too.  Their openness with all of us who missed out on some of those "stories" was gratefully recieved!  Thank you all who helped me have a container developed by your experience of Joel the man.  Also for defining that Nature was a Spiritual Experience for Joel!!  That he is not to be compared to other careless, adrinaline driven nature enthusiast's that have been in the news of late.

 It was a stunning expereince to hear the Army commander thank the parents, and to have him remind us that their are 5000 other young ROTC's that are just as dedicated to their country, parents, and values.

It was so much to assimulate that my grieving only now has started in my home in Reno. I slept the first two days feeling some what guilty that I wasn't up cleaning house etc.  But then I had a zip of energy by having HONORED my process and got the living room & kitchen done yesterday.

Today the rivers of my heart ache from all the levels of Grief.  All the old heart-scars of previous deaths, losses and disappointed dreams. Again I had to surrender my ego agenda to honor the tear in my heart that leaked tears. Though good, purification can feel like a aweful thing, and be imbarassing. But its better to let it out than have it dis-ease into my tissues with the uncried issues of pain, anger or regret.  I was proud that Kathryn & Ralph let their grief flow and flow, so they could have space to get through the service and to be SO BRAVE!!

All the memories I originaly felt cheated from, started to heal in the dedicatation service.  Matthews power point presentation was a breath taking tribute to Joels LIFE. I saw how he timed and arranged the shots to offer us the happy memories of Joel as a baby, and how UNSELFISHLY he gave again to his bright shining brother.  I was so touched. My heart and spirit will live for Joel, the rest of my life. He has made me a better me by his example. He lived a full life, and became a Gorgous man!! It gave me great JOY and pride as his aunt to have been able to witness "The Man" through the eyes of his ROTC brothers-roomates, pastors, uncle & grandpa, friends, brother and parents.

At first I thought "how weird" to cannonize a death by video taping it! Then being a Video Producer myself and a Hospice volunteer I thought "how cool"! But it was only after experiencing the beauty from which everyone gave- that I was so grateful that it was captured by his dear friend so that others too could recieve the GIFT of JOELS JOY. I hope to share it on my local access tv and with my Hospice chapter to share in dedication to him.  As I feel it can touch Christian or non Christian with its beautiful tribute to a life lived well. And maybe it will reach even more people, like he touched the homeless man, to inspire them to hope again or to live by his motto. 

In the sadness that is beyond words for many, the vibancy that his life gifted was evident to all. His Motto was carved into his canoe paddle: LOVE TO LIVE ~ LIVE TO LOVE.

Grief is a personal journey, none can tell you how or when it will visit. But again and again it will till it finds a resting place into Acceptance or denigal. It has been 18 years since my mother died, 20 years my father and 21 years since my Step Father died. And I can still have days of grieving the loss of their presence and exuberant personalities.  So be KIND to your selves in this journey of reflection and in the unfoldment of your own personal style.  My clip about experiencing confusing emotions is: When in Doubt apply Compassion.

Also, protect your self from the cruelty of our worlds selfishness or shallow values. So many are so quick to make judgements and not know they hurt... (people shouldnt hike alone, this car stinks, the garage is a pig sty, assumptions of carelessness).  So let us reflect on .... what really MATTERS and keep our mouths SHUT if we can't say something nice!!!   I really don't think most people realize the AMOUNT OF PAIN their WORDS, Beliefs styles or judgements cause others.  And that it even hurts the person listening not just the person being cut down!  It hurts to have it said about us or to us even when its meant with GOOD intensions.  Or is silently FELT.  Criticizm cuts, so be kind to YOUR SELVES- not too critical ok!??

Cause one of the HARDEST rights of passage of the grief process is surviving what I call the: IF ONLY'S and WHAT IF'S.  No matter HOW PERFECT YOU do it, this is a right of passage to ALL! To be challenged by regret. Hard times can help us reframe our priorities...and to choose to love. Fore the only things we can guarentee we will not REGRET is: Love, Joy, Happiness, spontaneous memories, experiencing patience-acceptance-forgiveness- compassion, and our friends and family.  A clean house won't be our pride of our farewell, unless THAT is what gives us JOY.  So do what gives you Joy and Laugh OFTEN.  Let others live with their expectations or projections. Have Faith, Live it's example of LOVE. BE KIND, patient with differences, and find the Joy that this day offers you. The rest is only the Matrix. So share the unique YOU, for that is your gift and mine to God and to those left behind when its our turn.

Many blessings and courage to Honor Your process. HAVE A GRAND LIFE!!
Love, Aunt Laurice Johnson

Ah, my sister Janice! Joel was truly a precious soul. 

May the grace of God uplift his family. 

No doubt many memories are being turned and turned and turned about with many tears, both privately inwardly and in the family closets together outwardly. 

He is even missed by those who didn't know him, once they catch the sweet spirit he had! I was surprised at my tears at a stranger, yet a relation known to my sister Janice.

I wish I could say I have lived the "gospel" as he.

Checking my sentiments, trying "to be brave", trying to be realistic about where we are in time, "in this present evil world", reversing my thoughts.......

I would not be at all lying to say plainly, that he is better off asleep than alive and awake in a world such as we see now, for the wickedness that is approaching to test every living soul still upon this green......

.........Earth.

God bless you Joel Mclin! Your test is finished here. And I have no doubts that you passed it.

May you rest, truly rest in the perfect peace of the sleep that waits for the resurrection morn!

There you shall see your mountain once again. And more.

And we shall see you even as you are known.

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." 1 Corinthians 13:12

Brother Scott 

Hi Kathryn,

I'm so glad you made the long trip up from Shelton today; I wouldn't have wanted to miss meeting you. In fact, I haven't been able to get our conversation at the end out of my mind since I got home. When we were talking about God's sovereignty and authors who help us understand Him, I forgot to ask you if you've read (or listened to) A Path Through Suffering (Discovering the Relationship between God's Mercy and our Pain) by Elisabeth Elliot (one of my very favorite authors with much credibility like you have because of the losses she's been through.) In fact, if you go out to "Back to the Bible" web site, you can click on several years of back transcripts of Elisabeth's programs. She writes and speaks much on God's sovereignty. Another book you've maybe read is Joni Eareckson Tada's When God Weeps, or her latest, The God I Love which I just passed along to one of my husband's colleagues who became quadriplegic in a car accident this last summer and is the mother of three young boys. She said Joni had already written her a personal letter when she heard about her situation. 

Also, have you read Sandy, by Leighton Ford? Sandy was full of life and 21 years old when he died suddenly during heart surgery in 1981. This moving account reminds me in some ways of your journey after losing Joel, including Sandy's friends who came around his parents to lovingly support and encourage them. 

Again, thank you, Kathryn, for having the courage to come today; God greatly blessed me through your graciousness and seeing your heart to understand Him better and love Him more deeply as you walk this path of suffering. I too wish we lived closer, because I'd love to get together (and maybe I could take piano lessons from you!), but I'm glad we have email. I'll try to send the tape of Dr. Boice's memorial service to you soon.

Warmly,
Heather 

February 3, 2004

Dear Kathryn,

After opening this website, I completely lost track of time, feeling like I'd entered through a door giving me a glimpse of eternity and an even greater yearning to meet our God whose hand was so evident in your precious Joel's life here on earth. What an absolutely remarkable young man, mature far beyond his years and gifted with so many ways to show how much he loved the Lord and everyone and everything He had created. 

Your Joel's life reminds me in many ways of Jim Elliot's; he too was multi-faceted, a poet, an athlete, a student leader who loved life and people, with a heart longing to serve God. He graduated from Wheaton in 1949 and some of the entries in his journals remind me of the depth of Joel's writings. I've heard several accounts of how many young people have gone on the mission field and into the pastorate after reading Elisabeth Elliot's book, "Through Gates of Splendor" about the martyrdom of five young missionaries, including Jim, in Ecuador in 1955. You'll probably never know how many lives the Lord will touch deeply through Joel's life and this beautiful website. It is not only a loving tribute to Joel, but, because of his deep faith, points powerfully beyond him to eternity and our loving, sovereign God. 

I'm so thankful you sent this to me since I had missed the last Wheaton moms' meeting where you shared. Thank you, Kathryn, for sharing your painful, sacred journey through the valley of suffering. You help me remember to ask God to help me focus on what has eternal value in this life, so difficult many times in the clamor all around us. 

With love and gratitude,
Heather 

Consider: The Weaning Process 
It's about:
    going through transition - going through change 
        or
Another way to say it is:
It's The Process of Getting Through It by:
 - Getting on with life - 
-  Our choice: To Proverbs 3:5 & 6 it - When we hand the Lord our reigns/ then He will get us to the other side
-  Where THE RESULT OF HOPE - IS - Tangibly Waiting For You!!
 
 
And the only way we can do all of the (immediately listed) above:
  - is the way Kathryn said to, in her above email to me,
        is by "looking to Christ." Wow!!! Praise His Holy Name!!! "Looking to Christ!!! Looking to Christ!!!"
 
So, with the weaning process 
It's about:
    going through transition - going through change 
 
So, what are we going to change?/ In other words/ We are going from what to what?
We are moving from 

1.Greek approach to life (thinking it out first - by sight/ Hear-Think-Do)

    To

2. The Hebrew approach to life (We walk by faith and not by sight/ Hear-Do-Understand) - Getting to where we trust in Him and live by faith & hope through It - Getting On - Getting To It - To The Other Side - 

?'s
is our faith more in "what used to be" or "what's going to be"
 - the good old days are in front of us, they're are not behind us.
 - there is a wonderful new dimension waiting for us
 - and there are a lot of people waiting for us to be obedient to what the Father's call on our life is - His purpose for us
 
God's biggest problem in our lives is to get us out of the way so that he can do what he wants to do in our lives
 
Let's not want to go back, let's not even want to look back, there's nothing back there, 
What do you say to let's cut the rope, 
 
It's all ahead of us, it's all in front of us - including Joel (You will have ETERNITY together)
 
Remember the story of the pastor who lost his family during WWI - He said, "My family has arrived home safely."
 
Meditate on all of the scriptures about how our lives are like the grass or the flower - Here today, gone tomorrow
While that is true of this life - our 70 or 80 years
While our eternity is forever - endless (You will have ETERNITY together) = to a hundred billion trillion years to start with++
 
We read Ps. 91:14 -  that He will never, no never, forsake you.
 
It's not about us - it's all about Him - 3 examples
Jesus said, "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and died for her
Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as I have loved you."
Jesus said, "Father I pray that those who follow Me will have the same love for Me as you do."
Jesus said, "Unless the seed falls into the ground and dies to itself, it remains alone - but if it dies it will bear much fruit.
 
Our walk is a walk of faith - where we trust in Him / we Proverbs 3:5 & 6 it.
 
And He is seeking to bring about another change in us: to move us into a mature relationship with Him
How?
From:    He has been our friend as He has loved us and died for us
To:        We now we want to be His friend and love Him and die for Him - daily, in every way.
 
We also talked about: as we walk by faith, putting our trust in Him - His yoke is easy, His burden is light.
We need to cast our cares on HIm for He cares for you.
An example of prayer - as I give my cares up to Him/ I take my hands from my chest & move them up towards the ceiling.
                                  - as I ask for HIm to answer my prayer & I want to receive from Him/ I do the opposite hand movement
 
We never lose when He asks us to give up something - You can't outgive God.
 
In closing, 
Remember: It's all about love.
 
(Which is a hint on what I will be sharing with you next time.)
 
With much love,
Mark